The following post is Part II of an article from Jan Egerton, a long-time mesothelioma survivor. Jan discusses the results of her most recent mesothelioma CT scan in February.
Jan enjoys the sunshine with her dogs Lexi and Bear.
As I announced my arrival for my oncology appointment for my CT scan the Lung Nurse asked how I was, I told her terrible. It was true, and I said I am going to ask if I can try chemotherapy again, even if it killed me I was going to try it. I want to live not waste away, and if that only chance could kill me then I would go down fighting.
My husband, on the other hand would prefer I didn't go down fighting and enjoy the time I have. He worries more than I do, and this time I could see the worry lines had etched deeper into his face. He was on edge, he was his usual caring self but off hand, if that makes sense. I don't get uptight, I was expecting bad news and I was ready to do battle with the oncologist.
We were finally called into his room, the man's face was all smiles, in fact it was a surprise to see him so happy. Before we had time to sit he said, "I can't believe it Jan, your scan is amazing," as he pulled up the report from Dr O, who has reported on nearly every scan I have had done. My mesothelioma had been hit badly, 50 to 75% reduction. It was a miracle, no one, not even the oncologist had expected these results. My low dosage and only 1 ½ infusions had done more damage to my mesothelioma than my previous (07/08) five rounds at 80% had done. Now he was prepared to help keep me going and find something we can do when the mesothelioma raises its nasty seed-shredding head again.
I hope if I ever need chemotherapy and manage to convince him to try again, we ensure it is when my mesothelioma is on a session. My mesothelioma isn't classed as typical, they call me Atypical. I believe everyone is Atypical because this cancer doesn't act the same in any one person, it isn't textbook – it's a very unique and individual disease.
We left his office with grins on our faces, you would have thought we were children just given free reign over a toy shop – honestly but I still had doubts, had he said these things because he wanted rid of me. I would only be truly happy when I had a copy of the report in my hand. I went to see my GP who hugged me the moment I walked through his door, he printed off the report and then I can say I was truly on cloud nine, I still haven't come down.
I am still amazed that I have inactive stable disease. I hope and pray that for the next several years they will still read Inactive stable disease. We know this can be achieved, and I would very much like to be one of those numbers.
We all deal with the emotional side so differently, I was sure I was facing the news we all dread and for the first time I truly thought I had nothing else left to fight with. It just goes to show we have no idea what is actually going on. I thought I knew my body well and the pains before the scan was my mesothelioma becoming aggressive and attacking me because I had tried to attack it, instead my chemotherapy had worked and the mesothelioma had lost.
Now, I am waiting for the warm weather and the sun on my face, my outlook is bright, but yes I will still finish my project. Instead of doing it with sadness in my heart, however, I am enjoying piecing our life together and what we have done in year order. Apart from anything else I still believe it is always best to keep busy and have something planned to keep the mind occupied.
Until next time, keep your faith. It's hard to remain positive all the time, but never give in and think your life is over, what's that saying, Not until the fat lady sings!
Read Part I of Jan's story about her fight with the anxiety leading up to hearing the results of her scan.
More articles by Jan Egerton
Jan Egerton first began having pain in her back in 1998, and was finally diagnosed with pleural mesothelioma in August 2004. She has endured years of surgery, chemotherapy, radiation and more, but continues to live her life on her own terms and not as a victim of the disease. Jan has been chronicling her journey through her blog, Mesothelioma – Jan's Journey.
